We just woke Laura up. I picked Henry up and brought him into our room. Laura wanted to cuddle with him in the morning, so I put him in bed...
It was December of 2011. I realized up until this point that I needed something different in my life. Things were not going in the direction that I wanted to. I decided to start writing down my thoughts and actions in my life. A few days into this I had one of those terrible days, where all things bad just come down on you at the same time. My mind was swimming with fears. I would replay all these negative conversations in my head that hadn’t even happened. I was just anticipating bad things to happen. I wrote everything down, and dealt with the stress however I could.
Then something funny happened. Nothing. That is exactly what happened. Absolutely nothing. All these negative thoughts and conversations that played out in my head never happened. A day went by, and then another, and then a week. Still nothing happened. I looked over what I wrote, to make sure that bad day actually happened. It did, yet there were no repercussions and not one of my “negative beliefs” every came to reality.
Had I not written my thoughts down at the time, I probably would have still been on this roller coaster of belief , letting my ego guide me on where my life was headed. But I had proof. I had proof that everything was just a belief, and that none of those beliefs were real. It was just my imagination. I had empirical proof to show what I was thinking versus what was actually happening.
There were a few other lessons I learned from writing down my thoughts in the moment, but this was one of the biggest takeaways. I continue to revert to old habits, and still have negative self talk at times. I am usually able to move past the negative self talk quickly now, or side step it altogether. The reality is, is that our belief system can guide us, or we can guide it.
I previously wrote about failure to emphasize a point about the lie of perfection in our society. The truth is that it is only failure if we don’t learn from it. If you even learn the smallest bit of information, the situation changes from failure to experience. Failure is just a belief, and any belief can be changed.